certainly uncertain

I know that a lot of parents are struggling with uncertainty. Uncertainty about our kids, our jobs, our lives. From questions like, "Will my child eat anything if we go to someone else's house for dinner?" to "How do I GET them to eat {insert food} ever? to "Will they develop into a functioning adult if they don't ever eat this food?" to "What have I done wrong as a human to cultivate this food refusal thing in my kid!?" we wonder deeply. We wonder with intensity, with anxiety, with layers of self-blame, with the desire to just KNOW what will happen and HOW to get there!

A great podcast tackled the topic of uncertainty in the context of raising neurodivergent kids, and I wanted to pull out the following quote...

“We want control, we want security, we want to know what's coming next…the root cause of suffering is trying to make certain of the future, which is by definition not able to become certain…that translates to spending so much of our lives basically embracing suffering in the name of something we can never have. How can I cultivate a sense of equanimity, as much equanimity as possible, as much ease as possible, and acceptance in this state? How can I train in the alchemy of uncertainty?” - Jonathan Fields

Okay, so maybe this ends with more of a question than an answer. But I truly believe this is step one. Knowing you are suffering because of your desire for certainty. That's awareness. That's amazing.

How to harness this awareness, accept uncertainty, and suffer less? How to "train in the alchemy of uncertainty?" I'm still working on it, but I thought I'd take these next couple of emails to help us get closer.

For now, just name what feels uncertain. Take a moment to feel and honor the suffering around it. Is there any part of not knowing that you can accept? Is there any part of not knowing that allows you to be less fearful?