Just the lemons, please

I'm sure we're all familiar with the expression "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade." And I'm sure we've all been given lemons of assorted shapes and sizes, in different quantities, and of various levels of bitterness throughout our lives.

I have been given some health lemons. On Wednesday I completed the first of what will be 12 rounds of chemotherapy for breast cancer. I haven't generally been too miserable about this. There are some lucky pieces of this unluckiness, the most important of which is that there is a treatment for what I have and that I have a lot of love and support to get through it.

But sometimes, there is no making lemonade with these lemons. I've felt hatred towards anyone with hair. I've felt jealousy towards those who have never had cancer, even as I'm so glad they've been spared. The whole thing has felt unfair and consuming and nightmarish.

And yet, I'm glad for the moments I've been able to say, "just the lemons." There is something bracing about that taste, withstanding the rush of acidity. Waiting through it and keeping hold of the fact that its flavor will change and shift, as all things do, sweet or sour.

So today I want to offer you permission to attend to your lemons, whatever they may be. To note the exact quality and intensity of their bitterness. To observe and savor and even honor the sourness, the bite, how it changes as you pay attention. What the bitterness tells you about what you value most. And if you're up to it, hit reply and let me know what they are.